Realizing you are not teachable is humbling. But literally changes both your career and your life. I know that was the case for me, at least. Having graduated high school, gone through college, and launched into an awesome rising career, I was excited to prove myself early. And during those first several years, I accomplished a lot, due in large part to a little bit of fearless ignorance and a voracious appetite for learning. 

Yet, at that time, I was simply unteachable.

There was just no way I would be taking advice from someone. And I simply could not risk being wrong about anything. And then someone put me in my place. Thankfully.

That amazing aha moment arrived when a mirror was put in front of my face. Sometime later, I realized change was needed if ever I was to actually be teachable. The track I was journeying upon ensured I’d grow old in arrogance and never gain true wisdom.

The Foolish Wunderkind of Undeveloped Wisdom

It was an era sometimes called “the roaring  2000s” as we finally admitted the internet would truly be a thing, and we were learning that PDA could mean “personal digital assistant”. Among the many hats I wore on the job was the development of our company website and online banking. It also meant being the primary support to a legion of individuals who were really fighting to not become dinosaurs inside a rapidly expanding technoverse.

Day in and day out, I found myself teaching people who were three and four times my age what a web browser is and explaining that a double-click must be done in rapid succession to function, but is unnecessary when clicking on a webpage hyperlink. 

Oh, sorry… hyperlink is the underlined text you click on ONCE to navigate to another place.
Yes, it’s usually blue, but not always.
Yes, it was blue and now it’s red… that’s because you already clicked it.

I actually had these conversations. Often.

As you might imagine, security was also a frequent topic. And it was mostly a challenging one because of the terminology and technology involved, as well as the necessity to not overshare in case there were hackers posing as the consumer needing help. It became worse when Sandra Bullock’s The Net reached mainstream and people began thinking every online purchase would result in Armageddon. 

Oh, and often, those folks I corresponded with “just happened to work in internet security” and they “would be happy to consult” for a fee. A common tactic that is pretty much the predecessor to LinkedIn (“Hey… we follow the same people, so how about you buy stuff from me!”). 

Jaded by these experiences, I often relied on “canned responses” I had developed to reassure people of security and insist that we deployed the highest possible standards. That usually was a satisfactory outcome. But one response still echoes in my mind some twenty-plus years later.

“Your response speaks with the hubris of a younger soul.”

… Ouch.

The (Unteachable) Hubris of a Young Soul

I read the email several times. Processing and reflecting. Read… Process… Reflect…

And then… I finally took action.

The first thing I did was get super angry (how dare he!). The next thing I did was look up the word “hubris” to make sure I properly understood the definition.

I did. But I had to make sure. 

This line—the hubris of a young soul—remains close to my heart and present in my mind. I use it to remind me that I don’t know everything and that I still (and will always) have much to learn.

Conditions of humility.

And one that’s provoking of a mindset for gaining wisdom.  

Finding Humility

Whoever is slow to anger has great understanding, but he who has a hasty temper exalts folly. – Proverbs 14:29

In light of this accusation, I had to ask if it were possible that I didn’t know all there is to know. The obvious answer; of course not! So it begged the asking of what I still must know. 

Finding that answer takes viewing through the lens of the other person’s eyes and mind. It means thinking through what they have experienced and where they might have insight that you do not. Of course, it’s not easy while in the moment. It’s not easy to pause and consider if I am being too emotional, insecure, or egotistical. 

But once you do that, it’s remarkable, and you have to wonder why it was not asked first. 

It is then that you are led to the bigger and more important question; How am I impacting others; what’s the ripple effect—both good and bad?

Developing Wisdom

There are a lot of smart people who are quite unwise. Because they lacked the humility that allowed them to be teachable. They had the hubris of a younger, or arrogant, soul. 

It certainly is possible (and almost undoubtedly likely) that you don’t know all there is to know. What’s more, if you view from only your vantage, you miss everything that’s in your blindspots and you may not even begin to comprehend the impact. 

Why? Because you’re either too emotional, insecure, or (worst of all) selfish.

Welcoming Wisdom with Humility

So teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom. – Psalm 90:12 ESV

I now seek to operate with the humility of a more seasoned soul. My life has changed much, and I’ll share that I have achieved much. I’ve married and had kids. Earned a masters’ degree. I’ve served on boards, been a leader in my church, volunteered with many organizations, and done countless side-hustles. Blessed with much, I’ve written and published books, have presented (and moderated) at conferences, been a speaker at events, featured in articles, interviewed on television, radio, and podcasts, and received honors all while connecting and interacting with countless people.

Here I realize that I’m sounding very little like humility and more of boasting. Perhaps there is a little boasting. But it’s hardly my reason for sharing. I’ll conclude with that in a moment. For now, please know that all these accomplishments are nothing without a grounding in humility and are the result of wisdom, while also allowing the blessed opportunity for gaining more and better wisdom.

And now…

What Does Hubris, Wisdom, and Humility, Have to do Teachability?

During the last two decades-plus since my hubris of a younger soul was pointed out, I’ve literally lived my life over again. In other words, I am twice the age I was then. I am no longer a younger soul with my employer, my church or my sphere of peers. I see many “kids” who are more than half my age joining our team or otherwise entering my life on a regular basis.

The last few years, I’ve sort of taken a step in a very different direction, attempting to be a “better follower” than the “leader” I was once so infatuated with being. Gaining new perspectives and seeing insights into my blindspots seasons me with wisdom I’m blessed to receive.

I’m a better person for having done so. 

Today, I sometimes hear the hubris of younger souls in the words of some of those kids. I hear it as I try to impart knowledge and perspective (even as I am trying to gain more of those things of my own). 

Sadly, I sometimes hear the hubris of arrogant older souls. To be fair, I do still find it sprinkled into my own words and ways. In fact, I still don’t know it all; never will. I still find myself taking a narrow view of things, particularly when I am stressed or frustrated.

Thankfully, I’m not quite done yet, and perhaps the good Lord has many more days ahead for me. Maybe. Maybe not. The only thing for sure is the now. And, by golly, I really hope I can maximize every one of those moments… for myself and those I serve.