Several times in life, I’ve diagnosed myself as having a restless spirit. I’ve often thought it indicative of a compulsion to do something creative. Other times, I’ve felt it as an awareness that mighty life changes are afoot. Sometimes, I’ve found seasons of restlessness to be a matter of not knowing what’s next. Other times, it’s a longing for an affirmation of intended direction.
In these seasons, my mind is utterly discontent and restless.
Having studied Edwards’ resolution 35, and circumstances of its penning, I tend to think that Edwards had a similar inkling in his mind and heart.
Jonathan Edwards Resolution 35
Edwards’ Resolution #35 (in my modernized language)
Resolved: Whenever I question if I have done my duty to a point that I cannot shake the feeling of restlessness, I’ll stop and question myself until I find rest.
The date of this resolution (December 18, 1722) is the same date that what we know of Edwards’ personal journal begins. In addition to noting that he made this resolution on that day, he expands upon his thought process.
Edwards lays out four reasons, essentially stating his restlessness. Those reasons, in summary are, 1.) a feeling of unpreparedness, 2.) uncertainty over properness and fullness of restoration, 2.) a lack of innate Christian graces, and 4.) acknowledgement of sinful ways.
A Restless Spirit Precedes Spiritual Progression
“Thou hast made us for thyself, and our heart is restless until it finds its rest in thee.” – Augustine, Confessions
As I have grown in the my faith and drawn nearer to God, I’ve come to understand that having a restless spirit is also a sign of the Holy Spirit working within me.
Akin to what is commonly referred to as “growing pains”, such restlessness can resemble a stirring ache in one’s soul. A longing desire. That desire must be pointed in the direction of God.
Otherwise, such forming desires take on the risk of turning inward and, typically, becoming lust. We cannot bury our desires. We cannot ignore them or disregard our natural, innate, desires. St. Augustine, in Confessions, proposes a solution. Rather than destroying inner desire, we should seek transformation of it.
A restless spirit can resemble a stirring ache in the soul. It’s a longing desire that must be pointed in the direction of God, who is compelling us toward a long-term pursuit of Him.
Spiritual Unrest is a Constant for a Refining Life, On Purpose
St. Augustine’s Confessions is perhaps the first and most influential, religious autobiography in Christian tradition. It’s largely poetic and dialogues with God. In it, he writes about faith and shares most of what we know about his life. Detailing his inner thoughts and developments, Augustine confesses the sins of early life and presents his coming to faith in Christ. Throughout, he forms a model of spiritual formation for all readers.
The Christian life is life-long race. It’s a long-term pursuit of God. Desire is the driver, propelling us along our paths of spiritual maturity. As we experiences seasons of restlessness, know that God is inviting us. He’s beckoning us back to Him. For He too is longing. Longing for our allowing God be the one who provides rest for our souls.
In a word, He longs to “content” us.
What if I Don’t Have Spiritual Restlessness?
When it comes to the seasons of unrest that I used to introduce this topic, I usually never quite peg the causes. Nor do I identify the outcomes of those seasons. It’s in these moments we must have patience. But waiting is so darn difficult!
As we await, these times are good times to be on the lookout for what I call “spirit promptings.”
A spirit prompting is more than an inward feeling or emotion. There are many moments when we are being prompted by the Holy Spirit, we’re just too busy or unfocused of mind and/or heart to recognize it. Start with a pause. Next, turn to Jesus in a mode of prayer.
For whatever reason, you are contented for the moment. Be glad and rejoice in it.