Today’s post is about honor and how to honor. You see, today is my mom’s birthday and I probably would have sent her flowers or given her a simple birthday gift if she were still with us. Sadly, she passed away last year and, as I reflect on her life, I am reminded of the impact my mother had on my life. I am also reminded of the reality that whatever I would have given her for this birthday, it would not have been done with sincerity or in a way that showed her I really cared about and loved her the way I should.
So today, in honor of my mom’s birthday, I want to encourage everyone to take a moment for making sure you tell the important people in your life exactly what they mean to you. In a moment, I’ll share a couple ways for you to do that, but lets start with a little scripture.
God tells us to honor our parents, something he values highly enough to make it one of the Ten Commandments (Exodus 20:12) and then we are reminded again in the New Testament:
“Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor your father and mother which is the first commandment with a promise, so that it may be well with you, and that you may live long on the earth” (Ephesians 6:1-3).
Honor Your Loved Ones With Time
If you are a parent, you no doubt are aware that one thing your kids long for the most is your time. It’s interesting to observe that the roles seemingly reverse at a certain point in time and parents begin to long for their kids time as they age and the kids begin lives separate from the nest. Regardless of your role or what has taken place in the past, take the step toward connection. It does not have to be a grand gesture. It doesn’t have to cost anything. Just reach out.
When my father was ill with cancer, my wife and I would travel the 20 or so minutes to his home and spend time talking. Often we would watch NASCAR races together. I really don’t enjoy watching car races, but he did and we would talk about them. He would, in a sense, teach me things about the cars, the strategies and rules. I came to appreciate aspects of racing that I never would have otherwise. We had conversations about many other things, so this is just one example. But the most important thing about it is that we were able to connect and I believe he genuinely appreciated that I took the time to honor him with my time.
Honor Your Loved Ones With Attention
This, on the surface, seems like the same thing as honoring a loved one with time, but time and attention can be very different things. It is one thing to spend a couple hours in the presence of a loved one. It’s another to actually be present. Yeah. Turn off your phone if you can’t keep yourself from checking it every few seconds. Ask them questions to show you really want to know about them. Take time to actually listen to your loved ones. It’s okay to talk about yourself, and they will probably enjoy hearing about you, but make sure it is not all about you and – absolutely – do everything you can to keep it from turning into your own personal pitty party or gripe session. Negativity is a big-time downer man.
Honor your loved ones with the time, attention, and way you live your life. Show them your love is genuine and sincere.
Honor Your Loved Ones With the Way You Live
I have always had this weird stream of consciousness that had me always wondering what the people I care about would think of me if I were to really mess up in life. It worried me and drove me to do well. I wanted to make them proud of me. Even today, as my grandparents and parents are all departed from this earth, I still seek to make them proud. In a very real way, I feel like I am honoring them by the way I live.
Am I perfect? Not a chance! Don’t think for a second I am without sin. I am as broken and imperfect as anyone. However, I do willingly submit to God and intentionally and genuinely effort to be a better version of myself daily. I don’t always accomplish that goal, but I start anew moment-by-moment. You can as well. That means being honest. That means taking criticism appropriately. That means being real, humble and always growing as a person and follower of Christ.
Interestingly, this way of honoring your parents, also becomes honoring of your children. As you live your life, you teach your children and also become an integral cog in the direction of their lives. You honor them by setting the tone as you honor your parents. They return the honor through their own way of living.
Honor Your Loved Ones With Love
All we need is love. Love makes the world go around. The greatest of these is love. While I am no fan of cliches, they do become cliches for a reason. Sadly though, their impact is not so strong once that happens.
But love really is the key here. It’s the hub that holds us all together. Hug your loved ones. Do small acts to tell your loved ones you know them and you care about them. Find ways to connect and give them your full attention. Literally tell them you love them. Don’t worry about being called a wuss or feeling awkward about saying “I Love You.” The awkwardness fades and anyone who would call you a wuss for loving is in need of love themselves.
Nobody should ever be left to wonder if they are loved!
Take a moment to connect with a loved one today. If you don’t mind sharing how it goes or how you did it, do that here in the comments or shoot me an email. I’d really enjoy hearing from you.