How do you spot a fake? More importantly, how do you realize you’re being a fake? Or more challenging, how do you be true to who you are even when you must behave a certain way to be sensitive to others?
I grapple with these questions more than most will ever know. You see, I’m pretty moody and I am not much of what some would call a people person. I do genuinely care about and make effort to empathize. And I value relationships.
But it is hard work for me to express that authentic attitude. It’s a performance because being expressively genuine in that regard is not my natural state.
Jonathan Edwards Resolution 66
Edwards’ Resolution #66 (as it was written)
Resolved, that I will endeavor always to keep a benign aspect, and air of acting and speaking in all places, and in all companies, except it should so happen that duty requires otherwise.
Edwards’ Resolution #66 (in my modernized language)
I’ll always aim to be gracious no matter my emotion, unless my Godly faith requires differently.
Fake it Until You Make it
I am a lot like many folks these days; I don’t have much patience for disengeniune behavior. We’re getting pretty good at spotting phonies and fakes.
So it’s particularly troubling when you have to act in ways where you feel unprepared or inadequate.
However, God frequently calls us to fake it. But it’s only faking it in the sense that we can’t do it alone. We can, however, do all things through Christ.
It does not mean you will not fail at things. Because you will. And that is the fear that leads to having impostor syndrome. It is also a fear we should recognize and realize where we need fortification in our faith.
Remember, if you want to have big and strong muscles, you must lift weights and exercise as if you already have them. Eventually, you grow into them. And then grace is a part of your nature.
Who knows how far it will go from there!
Manage Your Self Management
What does faking it until you make it have to do with extending grace to others? Well, it’s because extending grace starts with ourselves.
We are made right with God by placing our faith in Jesus Christ. And this is true for everyone who believes, no matter who we are.
For everyone has sinned; we all fall short of God’s glorious standard. Yet God, in his grace, freely makes us right in his sight. He did this through Christ Jesus when he freed us from the penalty for our sins.
Romans 3:22-24 (NLT)
I have to admit, I am quite impatient with people that I don’t believe have the right skills or potential. The same is true of those who I feel have motives or pet projects that run counter to the greater goal.
And I unfortunately make it pretty clear in the way I act or interact with those individuals.
You see, it starts with me. How can I extend grace to someone who I have no patience for connecting to?
I have to remember they are no more than an imperfect imposter – just like me.