What does authentic love look like? It’s a question I’m often pondering. Never really landed on an answer, until now. You know it when I see it.
Every now and then, God sends a perfect illustration. It’s sometimes like the missing puzzle piece that’s key to the whole picture.
Yesterday, God sent me a missing piece. Today’s post is an attempt to share it forward. The border of the puzzle is framed by the song Reckless Love, and much of it is filled in by Bob God’s urging to be inefficient with love.
And then comes that once missing piece.
Authentic Love – Reckless?
Cory Asbury’s song, Reckless Love has drawn a lot of praise, as well as a ton of criticism.
The debate hinges on the question of whether it’s appropriate or heretical to call God reckless. It’s suggested by some that, to call God reckless is saying he acts without care or consequence.
However, to place such a strict interpretation of the definition in this case is a little off target. Asbury explains Reckless Love in this way:
“…He is utterly unconcerned with the consequences of His actions with regards to His own safety, comfort, and well-being. His love isn’t crafty or slick. It’s not cunning or shrewd. In fact, all things considered, it’s quite childlike, and might I even suggest, sometimes downright ridiculous. His love bankrupted heaven for you. His love doesn’t consider Himself first. His love isn’t selfish or self-serving. He doesn’t wonder what He’ll gain or lose by putting Himself out there. He simply gives Himself away on the off-chance that one of us might look back at Him and offer ourselves in return…”
He goes on to reference the God who will leave the 99 assembled sheep of the flock to go after the one sheep who has wandered (Luke 15:3-7). No, God doesn’t think twice. He’s all knowing and he’s in control. His love, to some, may seem reckless.
To God, – who IS love – it’s simply love.
Authentic Love – Inefficient?
Filling in the authentic love puzzle a little more, consider the advice of Bob Goff. He tells us to “aim to be stunningly inefficient with your love.”
That suggestion is so paradoxical to me: On the one hand, I hate (HATE) inefficiency. But on the other, I really dig love.
In an interview, Goff elaborates… “Be really inefficient with your love, don’t make appointments, have hat hair.”
In other words, love doesn’t have to be structured, schedules, or planned. It’s simply love.
In Love Does, Goff talks a lot about being whimsical in our approach to love. He reminds us that love is not about us, but we gain much personally when we love. That’s one of the amazing things about authentic love. First of all, it’s an action, not a thing.
And, it’s inexhaustible.
It’s a resource without limit.
God sometimes sends a key puzzle piece we didn’t know was missing. Here’s how he helped me understand the look of authentic love.
Love in Action – Messy?
Last night, my youngest daughter, Amelia, took to raking leaves in our yard. Nobody told her to do it. She just grabbed a rake and started piling up leaves. Knowing the huge task she’d set out to tackle, I fired up the leaf blower and started helping her.
It isn’t something I really wanted to do. But there were a lot of leaves, and they were damp, making them pretty heavy.
My helping, also came with a selfish motive; I didn’t want to see the job get less than fully done.
Amelia raking in her area, I set out from the other end of the yard, eventually catching up to her. She saw me, and walked to the shed, put away the rake and started heading inside. I called her over to me and asked if she was done. She said “You’re doing the blower, so what’s the point?”
Wake up call!
I hadn’t set out to discourage her. I had set out to help her! The last thing I wanted to do was make her feel defeated. So I asked her,
“Would you like to use the leaf blower?”
Her eyes lit up and a quick “Yes” followed. I gave her a brief tutorial and the go ahead.
Grabbing the rake, I started tidying things and observed her. Once she had the hang of it, she began running toward piles of leaves, literally attacking them with the blower. Shouting in joy, she went about the task with childlike exuberance and enthusiasm. The machine whirred and weighted her down. However, she’s never been one to be held back. She’s got grit. And she’s got a heart of resilience. She’s a creative soul that’s filled with a thirst and spirit for adventure.
That night, she was a teacher.
Of course, leaves were not orderly diverted to the pile. In fact, many of them missed the mark all together. And it took much longer for the leaves to get there. And, found myself raking, too.
Authentic Love – It is Simply Love
Watching her attack the leaves in her unique way, a smile on her face as she hooted and hollered, everything became clear. My spirited daughter, Amelia, experiencing such simple joy was a visible representation of authentic love. Her face wide smile displayed a real zeal for fun, adventure, and life.
We all need to better remember such simple joys.
She was reckless. No concern for consequences. So what if 100% of the leaves did not get cleared?
She was inefficient. Most of the yard needed clearing two or three times more than what I would have done – if she’d done it my way. But why force it? So what if it took a little longer?
And yes, it was messy. The yard still isn’t as tidy as it could be. And that’s okay.
They’re leaves!!!
Amelia reminded me that so many things in life are meant to provide joy and fun, yet we turn those things into chores, burdens, and time-thieves. I considered all this and I remembered that you can label the type of love any way you want, but at the end of the day, to God, and as it should be to us, it’s simply love.