I think we all need to sometimes spend time doing self-rediscovery. That’s one thing that really compelled me to read Take Off Your Shoes: One Man’s Journey from the Boardroom to Bali and Back by Ben Feder when given the opportunity to review it. My initial reaction was more cynical though. I first thought: “Why read about some rich dude who took a sabbatical?” When I told people about the book, they said similar things.
The fully uncynical answer: you’ll gain a ton of insight and perspective you never expected.
On the first page, Feder shares that the book was written for his kids. To that, I really relate, given that I also have written a book primarily intended for my kids. When he says it’s a “momento that went beyond a photo album,” I know where his heart is, and I respect it a ton.
In addition to that, though, In Take Off Your Shoes, Feder relays the experiences of a personal life transformation. He takes readers through a journey from revelation of a subtle takeover of the soul to what happens when we make decisions that go against the grain, as well as the new normal we get in return.
Along the way, he shares his personal observations while studying about brain science, learning, and growth. The standout thoughts and what he experiences leads the reader into wondering if Feder is either knowingly or unwittingly finding the answer to the question: “Can you think yourself happy?”
Ben Feder’s book, Take Off Your Shoes, is a story of self-rediscovery. He details his journeying from revelation that his soul had been subtly taken over to the new normal he gains from a year-long career sabbatical. Along the way, he shares observations about brain science and growth, leading readers into wondering if Feder is knowingly or perhaps unwittingly finding an answer to the question: “Can you think yourself happy?”
A Subtle Takeover of the Soul
The book begins with key insights into who Feder WAS. A highly intelligent and cunning business professional who is setting all the dominoes in place for the hostile takeover of an under performing company. His success in that attempt becomes an interesting pivot of sorts. He foreshadows what would unfold when he explains that the successful takeover was a moment of both power and empathy.
On the job much later than expected, Feder observes the strain on his relationships at home and has grown numb while mired in the grind of business life. There’s physical and emotional tolls. All in the pursuit of more, he’s in a “mindless trap” of goal chasing.
The Aha Moment and The Man in the Mirror
“This is where it happens. When husbands and fathers turn into men they never intended to be. They follow their ambitions, their careers, and their deluded views of what it means to succeed… eventually realize that they have neglected key relationships that feed them, relationships that are critical to their well-being” (17).
That’s how Feder describes his aha moment. It’s the moment he realizes he’s in need of some self-rediscovery. A passerby is a virtual mirror of who Feder had become. It stirred him. And it provoked a desire to reconnect with those relationships while exposing his kids to a world of greater diversity and engaging their senses of personal identity.
Lost in the relentless pursuit, he makes a decision to disconnect from who he’d become and reconnect with what and who most matters.
Making a Countercultural Decision
Leaving the culture of high-performing business life is no easy decision. And it is understandable to have apprehensions and insecurities about how that decision will be perceived. As Feder explains it, though, the reactions were surprisingly positive.
Through that process, Feder shares how he came to trust the decision and embrace the direction of his next steps. And the more steps he took from that decision, the more clarity he gained into who he had become.
Then, the sudden reality of the decision gets real when the voicemails and email inboxes go silent. Something to which I am sure virtually anyone in a similar working environment can relate.
Self-Rediscovery, a New Normal and A Mindset of Growth
As the New York-based family settles into the new routine of life in Bali, Feder and his family begin finding more evidence of purpose in the decision to take the sabbatical. In his self-rediscovery, Feder takes up yoga, meditation, biking and drawing. He pulls many life lessons and a new contentment in his new grounding.
Life refiners will relate well with Feder as he describes his studies in growth mindsets and brain science. Through the course of the narrative, he shares several books and resources he found useful in his quest. He’s discovering a new rhythm to life. A new way to experience the textures of his surroundings.
In a sense, he’s explaining how he found a new way to exist.
We all should be so lucky.
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