I’m an heirloom, and this post will help show you why that’s the case. It will also show you why each of my kids is an heirloom in their own right, and why you are as well. I gained this understanding while reading Raising an Original: Parenting Each Child According to their Unique God-Given Temperament by Julie Lyles Carr, which releases today.
I’ve had the pleasure of being on her launch team, which included a complimentary copy of the book. Get a copy and give it a read if you’re interested about parenting your child toward achieving their own unique, God-given purpose rather than forcing them into an educational system and popular magazine orchestrated box.
Carr shares a bit about how she enjoyed her grandmother’s garden and how she envisioned being able to replicate her grandmother’s success at her own home. It made me think about many of the life lessons I took from my grandfathers, both of whom were farmers.
And, of course, because of this month’s Year of Listening Up topic, “Sow Seeds Big and Small,” I am thinking about seeds. Specifically, heirloom seeds.
What is the Value of Heirlooms
I’m an heirloom. My children are heirlooms. Their children – should they have any – will be heirlooms.
To help explain that, here’s a brief lesson in gardening to help you understand what I mean. Gardeners, after deciding what to plant and the variety of what they will plant, have to determine if they will use a hybrid or heirloom seed. Hands down, one of the main reasons many gardeners choose heirloom seeds is the taste. In addition to taste, Heirloom vegetables are likely to be more nutritious and you can save your seeds to replant from year-to-year.
However, by going with an heirloom seed rather than a hybrid, you are giving up assurance that your fruit will have a look of uniformity. They might have odd shapes and even look – dare I say it? – ugly!
How I am an Heirloom
If you visit the Catholic church in my hometown, you’ll find a hallway filled with photos from First Communion classes. My Catholic-raised mother tried to carry her family/children on in the tradition. I received my first Communion and then she said Confirmation was my decision.
So, I remain enshrined of sorts on that wall. If you stop at that picture, I’m easy to find. Look for the only boy wearing a blue shirt dropped in a sea of white attire.
Our family life at that point was experiencing early strains of what would later become a full-fledged breakdown. In the hustle of life and tight budget, I had no white dress shirt, so I was forced into the dress shirt I did have… the blue one. As if I didn’t feel outcast enough, I was a year older than everyone else because we missed the cut off the year before. Oh, and I wore a girl’s coat that whole winter.
A girl’s coat? Well, my grandparents had bought it for me for Christmas without knowing it was designed for a girl. It was the only “nice” coat I had, so wearing it to church was pretty much a mandate, and I was the only one willing to admit it was a girl’s coat.
Long story made short, I was hardly from the same mold as my peers. I wasn’t uniform, and I often felt ugly like the fruit of an heirloom seed. What I didn’t realize at the time, though, was the value – to self, my kids and others – I truly bring as an heirloom. More on that in a moment, but first, let’s talk about the book, Raising an Original.
Understanding that parenting each child according to their unique needs and personality, leads to something awesome. Raising an Original provides tools making it happen.
The Child’s Role as an Original Heirloom
I love to look at babies. I love to watch them sleep and think about the many great things that are in store for their precious lives. They have their whole book filled with blank pages yet to be written upon. On those pages are so many great moments. There are some not-so-great moments, too. Regardless, though, all moments, good and not-so-good, are used for building up that child into the work of art that God has created them to become.
The child, in getting there, is going to need a lot of guidance. They are going to need parents and role models who are willing to let them mature and grow up knowing they’re children of God. It’s the same God who planted them as a unique and original heirloom seed.
Along the way, they will learn about their self and others. They will learn what they like, what they don’t like and – hopefully – they will one day accept and take on the responsibility for building their character and repeating the cycle by building up others as they continue their quests.
As an heirloom seed sown by our God, we’re to grow where we’re planted. Eventually, the winds of the Holy Spirit guides our children into future planting seasons, where we’ll grow as well.
Child, allow God to guide you.
The Parent’s Role as an Original Heirloom
God hasn’t asked you to raise perfect child; He’s asking you to uniquely raise a purposed child. As you might imagine, this is not your average parenting book – and that’s a good thing. Shouldn’t it be original if it’s indeed about raising an original.
Parents – whether they are Christian or otherwise – get tons of advice, plans and programs for parenting. In Raising an Original, Carr helps better define the purpose of Christian parenting. For raising up the next generation – our heirloom seeds. God has given each of our children specific gifts and abilities for specific purposes. She asks and important question; “what if parents, teachers or mentors could help them discover the wondrous, unique threads woven within them to see their part in the fabric of God’s universe?”
Carr takes on the parental role in raising our kids – our heirlooms to the world – and inspires us to think beyond a cookie-cutter approach. She helps us to see that nobody has ever had the responsibility of raising our unique, original beings in the entire history of the world. It’s a gift.
Carr discusses parents who try to live vicariously through their children, the need for putting God above self and child, creating the right environment or mindset and having ultimate trust in God.
Raising an Original Heirloom
Like Carr and her husband, when we begin to see that parenting each child according to their unique needs and personality, something awesome can happen. Raising an Original gives readers tools for communicating better and uniquely guiding each child. The book also includes a Personality Trait Assessment Tool for understanding of yourself, your parenting style, and the personalities of your child or children.
She users her real-life experiences as a mother of eight kids and a background in psychology to give solid advice. You’ll receive encouragement and guidance to inspire your quest of raising your children to be originals – to be heirlooms – in their own rights.
Ready to do your part in seeing your kids rise up into the awesome original free-range thinkers and doers that the Potter destined them to be?
Give this book a read.